Posted by2 months ago
The main takeaway here is that the magazine cannot exceed 3.3 ounces. To qualify as a Ride-Along. That’s not a lot of pages. Nor can it weigh more than the host publication. 15.4 Marking The marking “Ride-Along Enclosed” must be placed on or in the host publication if it contains a Ride-Along enclosure or attachment. I havn't tried to go on any ride alongs but I know people who either have or have tried and mostly what I have discovered is that in the midwest the departments are extreamly scared that something would happen on a ride along so I don't know of any departments in the midwest (MN, SD, IA, WI) that allow them.
She dried her soapy hands on a towel and then greeted me with direct eye contact and the firmest handshake I’d ever experienced. Then she handed me a relatively slim stack of papers. “Read these carefully. If you can remember and follow these instructions, you can be safe here at the station and on calls.”
If I couldn’t I’d be sent home and have no chance of getting a college reference out of these fine people. I understood the corollary without her ever saying it. It was a big deal that I was even here. Usually you had to be 17 to get to ride along at the Fire Department and the waiting list was at least eight months long.
“Yes, ma’am.” I replied smartly and then asked if she’d like any help finishing the dishes.
Her grey eyes softened. “No. It’s very kind of you to offer, Miss Woodard, but I’ll do just fine. Go fill out your orientation paperwork and read your safety packet. Come find me once you’ve given those forms to Becky.”
“It’s Kathleen,” I told her. “Please.”
“Kathleen, then. Get to it. Hopefully no calls come in before you finish.”
The first few pages were standard and incredibly boring. I wanted to skim them but I wanted Firefighter Alanna to like and respect me a lot more.
These pages covered the basics and the obvious. I was not to step out of the fire engine if I was not given permission. This permission may never be granted. I was not to photograph patients and post it on Facebook. I was to avoid used needles at all costs. I was not to touch patients for any reason or in any way.
There was a footer at the bottom of each page.
It read Every Rule That Is Written Here Has Already Been Broken Once
Alanna came to check on me in the station library.
“I like the concentration, kiddo.”
I smiled hugely at the compliment and the knowledge that I was already crafting a good impression.
Then I got to page 2.
- There are no televisions or radios at the station. Please ignore any reports, however upsetting, that may appear to have come from any such device. Ear plugs have shown to be ineffective in mitigating this particular issue. If you should hear such a news report, under no circumstances exit the fire station or open the laundry room door.
- Tone-outs over the station intercom are always representative of a genuine emergency with one exception: do not attempt to respond to call with call notes that read, with only slight variation, “unknown age female down spreading pool of blood noted female not responsive breathing irregularly and abnormally cause of injury not apparent I have her in the basement. Caller refuses to approach closer to confirm presence or absence of pulse. I took her so she’s mine caller states he will meet responders at door to direct them to patient I killed her with the bedpost.” Do not discuss this tone-out in between the hours of 10 pm and 8:30 am.
- Should a firefighter with approximately 75% body surface second degree burns appear in the ladder truck, follow his instructions completely and without hesitation. If you scream upon seeing him, you must make amends by pouring out half a bottle of higher-end scotch (at least 80$ a bottle) on the small metal memorial at the Southwest corner of the building. If you are under 21, you may substitute a heartfelt apology and a bouquet of white lilies. He answers to David. He is capable of clarifying instructions and indicating their level of urgency but cannot sustain a discussion on any other topic. If David is seen more than three times in a single week, please inform Captain Ramirez.
- It is not recommended that you discuss such events with family members, especially female household members between the ages of 8 and 11.
- It is likely that if you are chosen to staff Engine 4, turning the siren tone to T3 will cause a pained and extended sobbing that emanates from the roof. The voice is frequently, though not always, female. Though unsettling, this is expected operation and requires no specific action on your part or on the part of your Lt.
- Upon starting your first day, you will receive a small engraved penlight. You must keep this on you at all times while on duty, and your Captain will verify you possess it on starting each shift. Do not give this penlight to anyone. Do not turn on this penlight. Do not assess patients with this penlight. If someone asks you for your penlight, even if that person looks like a lieutenant or your preceptor, do not give him or her your penlight. Fire Department staff may ask to see your penlight, but will never request to hold it or otherwise remove it from contact with your person. While off duty, the penlight may be safely stored in a box of petrified oak, which will be issued to you.
- Please take care not to wash personal clothing in the large orange washing machine: this is specifically for contaminated bunker gear. Between the hours of 10 and 11 PM, you may observe an apparently homeless man in the laundry room who begs you for change to operate the machine. It is very important that you agree to his request and pay him in quarters. If you have forgotten spare change to give him, please lock yourself in the equipment locker, close your eyes and call Captain Ramirez on his personal cell immediately. This is the only situation in which you may call him on his personal cell.
- You will be assigned a locker with a combination lock for your personal effects. It is your responsibility to keep it clean and secure. It is important that once per week (most employees prefer Mondays), you place a 2 lb pound slab of raw sirloin steak on the bottom of your locker. If it does not disappear within 24 hours of placement, please send an email to Captain Ramirez. If this creates an undue financial burden, please fill out a Needs Request form with Becky and she will reimburse you from Petty Cash.
- A man with 90% Total Body Surface Burn area will appear in many areas around the station, especially following calls involving the death of a infant. Do not confuse this man with David. Do not follow his instructions. If he obtains your pen light, contact your shift’s Safety Officer and make your way directly to the First Baptist Church that is .2 miles North of station. Walk very quickly but do not run.
I signed the form confirming I’d read the entire thing, with Alanna as my witness.
“This is a joke you all play on new people, right? I heard that’s a big thing in the fire service.”
Alanna paused and turned to look at me. “We cracked down on that a few years ago. There were some issues with probationers being unable to differentiate between a joke and an order.”
“But this is--”
She touched my shoulder. It was a gentle and obvious order to shut up. “It’s still light out. But try not to talk about those things. It only makes them stronger.”
She was so obviously not kidding and I was so accustomed to being treasured for my unquestioning obedience to authority I gave the form to Becky, who issued me a temporary penlight. “Keep it in your side pocket,” She’d said in the brisk way of someone who does the job of three people yet still has perfectly manicured nails. “It can fall out of the back one and that is the last thing you want.”
She wrote “Kathleen” across it in Sharpie. I took it and put it in the pocket, as directed.
Alanna escorted me to my room. “You can sleep or study in here. If we get a call, the tones are deafening. There’s no way you’d miss it.”
I nodded, feeling reluctant to be alone.
The bedrooms are safe. Well, safest. No one’s ever seen anything up here.”
I did not like her emphasis.
The intercom in my room crackled to life around 2 am. I shot up, hoping for an exciting call and then feeling guilty for that hope.
“We interrupt this broadcast with a special report. Local elementary schooler Mildred Woodard has been officially declared missing with foul play suspected. In the first case of its kind in Elizabethtown in over a decade, the girl’s room was noted to be empty just fifteen minutes ago. There are clear signs of a struggle and forced entry. Local citizens are encouraged to keep a sharp eye out so that we can bring Mildred home before it’s too late. Mildred is described as a 4’ 8” girl with short blond hair and freckles. She was last seen in red Justice League flannel pajamas, her favorite ones.”
I got up and stumbled toward the door. Then I remembered. I turned the volume on the intercom down completely, suddenly comfortable with the prospect of missing a tone out.
The voice continued, still perfectly audible. “This just in. One of Mildred’s feet has been located in a ditch next to East Spring Road. This grisly finding confirms that every parent’s worst nightmare is playing out live tonight. The scent dogs are just arriving at the girl’s bedroom. We pray for her safe return.”
I slammed my hands over my ears. The voice continued, sounding just like the man that announced the weather every morning.
“This just in: The scent dogs have located the remainder of Mildred’s leg, strapped in to the toddler swing at Bowton Park. Stay tuned for an interview with Mildred’s mother and the police chief currently in charge of the investigation. Again, if you have any information on Mildred’s whereabouts, we encourage you to call. The police department has a dedicated line.”
![Ride along rules for a periodical magazine subscription Ride along rules for a periodical magazine subscription](/uploads/1/2/4/7/124711073/713722226.jpg)
My loud crying didn’t drown out a single word.
8 comments
Posted by2 months ago
She dried her soapy hands on a towel and then greeted me with direct eye contact and the firmest handshake I’d ever experienced. Then she handed me a relatively slim stack of papers. “Read these carefully. If you can remember and follow these instructions, you can be safe here at the station and on calls.”
If I couldn’t I’d be sent home and have no chance of getting a college reference out of these fine people. I understood the corollary without her ever saying it. It was a big deal that I was even here. Usually you had to be 17 to get to ride along at the Fire Department and the waiting list was at least eight months long.
“Yes, ma’am.” I replied smartly and then asked if she’d like any help finishing the dishes.
Her grey eyes softened. “No. It’s very kind of you to offer, Miss Woodard, but I’ll do just fine. Go fill out your orientation paperwork and read your safety packet. Come find me once you’ve given those forms to Becky.”
“It’s Kathleen,” I told her. “Please.”
“Kathleen, then. Get to it. Hopefully no calls come in before you finish.”
The first few pages were standard and incredibly boring. I wanted to skim them but I wanted Firefighter Alanna to like and respect me a lot more.
These pages covered the basics and the obvious. I was not to step out of the fire engine if I was not given permission. This permission may never be granted. I was not to photograph patients and post it on Facebook. I was to avoid used needles at all costs. I was not to touch patients for any reason or in any way.
There was a footer at the bottom of each page.
It read Every Rule That Is Written Here Has Already Been Broken Once
Alanna came to check on me in the station library.
“I like the concentration, kiddo.”
I smiled hugely at the compliment and the knowledge that I was already crafting a good impression.
Then I got to page 2.
- There are no televisions or radios at the station. Please ignore any reports, however upsetting, that may appear to have come from any such device. Ear plugs have shown to be ineffective in mitigating this particular issue. If you should hear such a news report, under no circumstances exit the fire station or open the laundry room door.
- Tone-outs over the station intercom are always representative of a genuine emergency with one exception: do not attempt to respond to call with call notes that read, with only slight variation, “unknown age female down spreading pool of blood noted female not responsive breathing irregularly and abnormally cause of injury not apparent I have her in the basement. Caller refuses to approach closer to confirm presence or absence of pulse. I took her so she’s mine caller states he will meet responders at door to direct them to patient I killed her with the bedpost.” Do not discuss this tone-out in between the hours of 10 pm and 8:30 am.
- Should a firefighter with approximately 75% body surface second degree burns appear in the ladder truck, follow his instructions completely and without hesitation. If you scream upon seeing him, you must make amends by pouring out half a bottle of higher-end scotch (at least 80$ a bottle) on the small metal memorial at the Southwest corner of the building. If you are under 21, you may substitute a heartfelt apology and a bouquet of white lilies. He answers to David. He is capable of clarifying instructions and indicating their level of urgency but cannot sustain a discussion on any other topic. If David is seen more than three times in a single week, please inform Captain Ramirez.
- It is not recommended that you discuss such events with family members, especially female household members between the ages of 8 and 11.
- It is likely that if you are chosen to staff Engine 4, turning the siren tone to T3 will cause a pained and extended sobbing that emanates from the roof. The voice is frequently, though not always, female. Though unsettling, this is expected operation and requires no specific action on your part or on the part of your Lt.
- Upon starting your first day, you will receive a small engraved penlight. You must keep this on you at all times while on duty, and your Captain will verify you possess it on starting each shift. Do not give this penlight to anyone. Do not turn on this penlight. Do not assess patients with this penlight. If someone asks you for your penlight, even if that person looks like a lieutenant or your preceptor, do not give him or her your penlight. Fire Department staff may ask to see your penlight, but will never request to hold it or otherwise remove it from contact with your person. While off duty, the penlight may be safely stored in a box of petrified oak, which will be issued to you.
- Please take care not to wash personal clothing in the large orange washing machine: this is specifically for contaminated bunker gear. Between the hours of 10 and 11 PM, you may observe an apparently homeless man in the laundry room who begs you for change to operate the machine. It is very important that you agree to his request and pay him in quarters. If you have forgotten spare change to give him, please lock yourself in the equipment locker, close your eyes and call Captain Ramirez on his personal cell immediately. This is the only situation in which you may call him on his personal cell.
- You will be assigned a locker with a combination lock for your personal effects. It is your responsibility to keep it clean and secure. It is important that once per week (most employees prefer Mondays), you place a 2 lb pound slab of raw sirloin steak on the bottom of your locker. If it does not disappear within 24 hours of placement, please send an email to Captain Ramirez. If this creates an undue financial burden, please fill out a Needs Request form with Becky and she will reimburse you from Petty Cash.
- A man with 90% Total Body Surface Burn area will appear in many areas around the station, especially following calls involving the death of a infant. Do not confuse this man with David. Do not follow his instructions. If he obtains your pen light, contact your shift’s Safety Officer and make your way directly to the First Baptist Church that is .2 miles North of station. Walk very quickly but do not run.
I signed the form confirming I’d read the entire thing, with Alanna as my witness.
“This is a joke you all play on new people, right? I heard that’s a big thing in the fire service.”
Alanna paused and turned to look at me. “We cracked down on that a few years ago. There were some issues with probationers being unable to differentiate between a joke and an order.”
“But this is--”
She touched my shoulder. It was a gentle and obvious order to shut up. “It’s still light out. But try not to talk about those things. It only makes them stronger.”
She was so obviously not kidding and I was so accustomed to being treasured for my unquestioning obedience to authority I gave the form to Becky, who issued me a temporary penlight. “Keep it in your side pocket,” She’d said in the brisk way of someone who does the job of three people yet still has perfectly manicured nails. “It can fall out of the back one and that is the last thing you want.”
She wrote “Kathleen” across it in Sharpie. I took it and put it in the pocket, as directed.
Alanna escorted me to my room. “You can sleep or study in here. If we get a call, the tones are deafening. There’s no way you’d miss it.”
I nodded, feeling reluctant to be alone.
The bedrooms are safe. Well, safest. No one’s ever seen anything up here.”
I did not like her emphasis.
The intercom in my room crackled to life around 2 am. I shot up, hoping for an exciting call and then feeling guilty for that hope.
“We interrupt this broadcast with a special report. Local elementary schooler Mildred Woodard has been officially declared missing with foul play suspected. In the first case of its kind in Elizabethtown in over a decade, the girl’s room was noted to be empty just fifteen minutes ago. There are clear signs of a struggle and forced entry. Local citizens are encouraged to keep a sharp eye out so that we can bring Mildred home before it’s too late. Mildred is described as a 4’ 8” girl with short blond hair and freckles. She was last seen in red Justice League flannel pajamas, her favorite ones.”
I got up and stumbled toward the door. Then I remembered. I turned the volume on the intercom down completely, suddenly comfortable with the prospect of missing a tone out.
The voice continued, still perfectly audible. “This just in. One of Mildred’s feet has been located in a ditch next to East Spring Road. This grisly finding confirms that every parent’s worst nightmare is playing out live tonight. The scent dogs are just arriving at the girl’s bedroom. We pray for her safe return.”
I slammed my hands over my ears. The voice continued, sounding just like the man that announced the weather every morning.
“This just in: The scent dogs have located the remainder of Mildred’s leg, strapped in to the toddler swing at Bowton Park. Stay tuned for an interview with Mildred’s mother and the police chief currently in charge of the investigation. Again, if you have any information on Mildred’s whereabouts, we encourage you to call. The police department has a dedicated line.”
My loud crying didn’t drown out a single word.
8 comments